... 11 days go by and you realise you have not posted. But since this blog is about fibre art and I have done no fibre art recently ... I am out of words on that topic.
I'm in that space where getting through days consumes all my energy. My job is ending at the end of the month, thankfully not because I was fired, but because the clinical side of the research unit I work for, is closing down. We're not getting new work and no work = no money = no job.
Sometimes this information flattens me and sometimes I feel it may be the start of a new life. Mostly the former. This year has been a rough one, with two hospitalisations and a rapid and prolific series of medications. Some days I'm buoyant and confident, some days I am as competent as the next person and some days I feel useless and worthless. Trying to plan a new life in the face of this inconsistency is a challenge, which I am sometimes up to, and sometimes not.
Add to this mix a number of rejections recently, some of which are perhaps only misperceptions (my judgment in that regard is not always to be trusted) and there are days when I'm somewhat adrift in a sea of uncertainty and personal unreliability.
One must persevere and be positive, say the gurus.
"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul" says Henley.
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2 comments:
Looking back I remember so many frightening changes that worked out for the better. Changes I would never have made without some sort of calamity intervening. Experiencing the fear of change or the fear of the unknown is a different matter of course. If only we could predict the outcome. I admire your courage Karen. Keep plodding. Things have a way of working out.
Thanks so much Robyn...
Yes, I think the uncertainty and fear of the unknown is the worst part. I've been wanting to change jobs a while, but I had hoped to have another to go to, and had also hoped I'd be in a healthier frame of mind.
Thanks for your support...
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