Thank you so much to all the people who have written in support. It's been rough going and has not eased up, except for short Mixed states, where I have both mania and depression symptoms simultaneously. If that sounds confusing, believe me, it feels that way too. It's hard to hang onto who you are and what you know about yourself, when it changes constantly.
But worse has been a complete and utter creative block. I have not done anything since November last year. I have no interest or desire. I've taken out my fabrics and materials and re-read all my inspiration books, but I just look at it all and wonder why I bought it or what any of it has to do with me.
I look at the works I have done and wonder how the person who made them managed to concentrate and persist so much as to complete them. I feel nothing when I look at them, and wonder why I made them. What are they for? I'm completely detached from my own creations.
And sometimes I worry that the creativity will never come back. I feel foreign to myself. Doing trials of each medication in turn, in hopes of finding something that helps, and unemployed since 1 Jan.
If I don't have my art to express myself with, who will I be and what will be the point of being here at all? Heavens, I am gloomy.
I hope everyone out there is doing a lot better than me!
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Karen you've written a post!!! That really is a good sign. I've been doing a 10 minute (or less) collage every day. It's great for blocks. My last 2 blog posts have been about the e-course which is free. Have a look and go over to Shelley Klammer's website and sign up. It can take 2 minutes if that's what you want but if you do one every day for about 30 days you are forming a habit to create. I've become addicted to doing them.
Thinking of you.
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