Reblog: About me

About me

I’m 57 and live on an idyllic little island in Denmark, in a small section of a beautiful, converted farmhouse from 1748. Three years ago, I sold off house, car, furniture, and accumulated life-debris, packed what was precious to me, and moved back here, after 43 years of living in South Africa. In a while, I’ll identify myself by name; for now, this little seed, not only of the blog, but also the journey, has only just sprouted and needs to grow some roots and shoots, before it’s planted out in the sun.

I wish I was able to say I had arts education, an artistic career and lots of art experience. I don’t have any of those; I’ve had a string of jobs. I’m a registered nurse by education. I’ve done computer programming, data capture, database management and lecturing in IT.  I managed a crafts workshop for disabled people. I was a clinical research coordinator in generic medicine research. A year ago, I even delivered newspapers and advertisement for a short while.  I can’t seem to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. I’m studying again, with plans to be self-employed and work my own hours. Since my CV looks like the dog’s chewed-up old blanket and my age is not on my side, I’m hoping this will work out.

My avocation as artmaker has, however, been steady throughout. I work in textiles, fibres, surface design. Most of my art is autobiographical.  When I am out among people, I focus on the outer world. When I am alone, I give attention to that which is within me. I don’t apologise for my work being self-absorbed. Maybe it will speak to others, who may recognise it mirroring what which is within themselves.

I make because I can’t not do it. My soul withers if I don’t. It is a spiritual imperative, to which I happily surrender. It consoles and heals me. It makes me come alive.

I do not attempt to make any money from it. It would be lovely – but the times I have tried to sell what I make, were filled with anxiety about making what I thought other people would buy. I took on a commission once, and promised myself, never again. Elizabeth Gilbert said it so well:

“I didn’t expect to make a living from writing. I never demanded that my writing, my art, support me. Instead, I made a commitment to do everything I could to support my art. I worked whatever job I had to so I could keep writing. I made a promise to my art, that I would always support it, I would make the sacrifices so we could be together.” -(Big Magic, creative living without fear – Elizabeth Gilbert)

I’m very introvert and thrive on living alone and small. Some of us do. I love the internet where I can be social and meet wonderful people, while being home alone. I battle with the human condition at times. I battle with myself at times. But often, I think to myself, “what a wonderful world; the colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky…”

I love the inscrutable ways of cats. I love forests, where the longings and aches of the soul grow still and calm, in the deep, quiet peace. I love rain.

I strive to live by these words:

“If I can stop one heart from breaking,I shall not live in vain;If I can ease one life the aching,Or cool one pain,Or help one fainting robinUnto his nest again,I shall not live in vain.”

–       Emily Dickinson

and:

“In the noontime of my life, I shall look to the sunshine,

At a moment in my life, when the sky is blue

And the question I shall ask will remain unchanging

Was I brave and strong and true?

Did I fill the world with love, my whole life through?

–  Petula Clark