I've been mining YouTube for hypnosis videos and audios. Doing self-hypnosis every day. Then I found this hypnotist, see.............
She has developed a new technique for hypnotherapy, working in much deeper states of trance than is usual and I watched several of her videos. I cannot even describe what a powerful reaction I had. My mind blew wide open. I KNEW, with a wisdom far beyond my own, that this was IT. Her name is Ines Simpson, her technique, Simpson Protocol.
I scoured her websites and saw she was on a teaching tour in Europe. I wrote to her asking if she would see me as a client. I don't know how I found the courage to do that (!), but I was driven by something beyond my puny little conscious mind. I cannot even describe how driven I felt; I was being led by something. Long story short (and it is long, but I'll expand later, just want to get this down) she said I could meet her in Portsmouth the following Monday morning 9.30. I booked flights and 2 days later I set off on the journey to England. In her hotel room, just before she left there, we had a session. It was long, over 2 hours, and I was dazed and exhausted afterwards.
What happened? I remember very little. For a good week after I was in a daze, feeling things shifting and processing in my head, beyond my understanding, but letting it happen. It felt very benign and I trusted it was right. I was prepared to be led. Day by day, my mind blew more and more.
Another long story short: she did soul retrieval. I had heard the term long ago and dismissed it as far too "out-there", but I did not need to do anything in the session but let it happen. And over the days after, I realized a piece of my soul had come back. A piece I lost some... 25 years? ago. The piece of me that held my spiritual connection.
For a long time, I've been yearning for that connection; for the ability to believe in something greater than myself. I had it once but I've not been able to let myself believe. I've found myself envying those with faith. Even if I suspected they were deluded, I envied the serenity and the meaning they had.
It was not what I went to Portsmouth to find, not at all. I was depressed, overwhelmed by negativity and looking for help for my spectacular lack of self-esteem. But what I thought I needed, was not what my higher mind knew I needed. I went to find some mental and emotional help, and what I got was my spirituality back. This was not anything led by Ines at all, she merely facilitates what the Higher Mind wants to work on. Though I didn't know it consciously, this foundation was what I needed.
So here I am now. It's a tender little seed, just planted, just starting to grow roots. I am gently and quietly nurturing it. My spirit is soaring. Art is pouring out of me, much faster than I can get all the ideas into physical form.
YES, it looks like a hypomania. And yes, it feels much the same as hypomania feels, in some respects. Spiritual revelations, insights, expansiveness, overflowing love, connection and gratitude. But just because it may bear resemblance to hypomania, does not mean it has to be hypomania. It's a spiritual re-awakening, which feels the same. The difference is in how grounded I feel. How the feelings are arising from a deeply restful place within me. My spirit soars, but it is bound to the earth by a golden thread, so it will not fly off to the sun and then crash and burn.
And I know the long, long hours of daylight in summer mean I sleep less than I should. I'm not doing it deliberately, my body clock is exquisitely attuned to the light outside, even if blocked by blackout curtains. So, less sleep also helps my spirit soar. But I KNOW this is not just a hypomania. Something has shifted inside me.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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